This morning there was no room in his mind for morbid thoughts about these juvenile pluguglies

Raymond: "Oh well, I suppose we were all young once.
Patricia: "Not you Raymond. You were born middle-aged."
Raymond: "Kind of you to say so, Patricia. I've always attempted to maintain a mature outlook, but I can not deny there've been lapses. I once possessed a whoopee cushion. I never deployed it, of course, but the capacity was there."

In The Thin Blue Line

By Bean & Crumpet